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  • Home > Mari Mancusi > Stake That     

    1

    THURSDAY, MAY31, 8:30 A.M.

    BLOGFASTSUX!!!!!!!!!

    OMG I am sooo pissed right now!

    As you know, I've been keeping this blog for like EVER in an effort to document my transformation into a vampire. I've shared with you my notes from my Vamp Certi-fication 101 class, told you all the juicy details about my hot vampire blood mate-to-be, Magnus. Heck, I've even posted excerpts from the Biting Humans for Fun and Profit manual.

    But what does my blogging site decide to do the week everything is supposed to go down? IT decides to go down, TOO! The whole last week's worth of entries . . . vanished into thin cyberspace air.

    Grrrrrrrrr!!!!!

    Okay, deep breath, Rayne. There's nothing you can do about it except send threatening hate e-mail to Blogfast.com.And then the vindictive little geeks who run the site will prob-ably delete your whole blog altogether instead of just last week's entries. Better to just recap and deal.

    But still. Major grrr, if you ask me.

    Okay. Of course you're all dying to know: Am I a vam-pire? After all, the last blog entry of my own Neverending Story not eaten by The Nothing was written the night I was scheduled to be transformed. I was headed to Club Fang (the coolest Goth club in the known universe) with my twin sister, Sunny.

    (Yes, yes, we're Sunshine and Rayne. Hippie parents and all that. And we've already heard all the jokes, so please don't bother.) There I was to meet my blood mate, the drool-worthy vampire Magnus. He was supposed to bite me and then we'd spend eternal life together as vampires, which, FYI, is a pretty sweet gig. I mean, we're talking riches be-yond belief, amazing powers, and best of all NO HIGH SCHOOL.

    w00t!

    Problem is that's not exactly how it all went down. In-stead of biting me, Magnus the Mentally Challenged bit my twin sister, Sunny, instead. We're like, identical, you know, but still! You'd think he would at least have double-checked that he had the right girl before going to the point of no re-turn. After all, we're talking Real Life Extinguishing Event here, not some Parent Trap movie starring Lindsay Puke Lohan.

    And let me tell you, Sunny, who had no idea up until then that the whole vamp world even existed, was so not pleased to be informed that due to a "bloody" bad case of mistaken identity she would now spend eternity as a pasty, blood-gulping creature of the night. (Her words, not mine!) And Magnus the Moron was freaked out beyond belief that he was going to get in trouble with the boss, Lucifent, for per-forming an unauthorized bite. (After all, she wasn't even blood tested first for diseases. Not that my innocent little twin sis would ever have diseases!) Luckily for Maggy, Lu-cifent got dusted soon after by Bertha the Vampire Slayer. So Mag not only got off scot-free, he became the new Master of the Blood Coven and high priest of the eastern vampire con-glomerate of the United States of America. Life is strange.

    So, long story (somewhat) short, the two of them decided to see if they could stop the transformation.

    Ended up having to go to England to get a drop of pure blood from the Holy Grail. It's too long and boring to tell, but I made Sunny prom-ise to write it all down so maybe when she does I can post it here or something. Bottom line: They were able to stop the vamp process and my sweet little sis is now a member of the human race again. Of course, in the process, her and Magnus fell deeply in love and now they're doing the interspecies dat-ing thing.

    Which leaves me back at square one. No hot blood mate to spend eternity with. No riches beyond belief. Just an American

    History paper that I didn't write because I'd assumed I'd be an immortal dropout before the due date.

    Can we say, "Rayne's Life Sucks Big Time?"

    Bleh. I'm too depressed to write. More later.

    POSTED BY RAYNE MCDONALD @ 8:30 a.m.

     

    THREE COMMENTS:

    Ashleigh says . . .

    OMG, Rayne! That totally sux that Blogfast ate ur entries. U should, like, totally sue or something. I was on vacation with the fam &figured I'd catch up on ur adventures when I came back and now I've missed everything! Booooooo!!

    ButterfliQT says . . .

    Thank god your sis got 2 turn back 2 a human! From what you've written about her, I think she'd make a totally sucky vamp!!!! (LOL—sucky vamp! hehe)

    Rayne says . . .

    I'm sooo with you, Butterfli. I mean, the girl didn't appreci-ate the idea of immortal life and big bucks one bit! She was more interested in who was gonna take her to the prom. Puh-leeze.

    DarkGothBoy says . . .

    Hey. U R Hot. Screw Magnus. He sounds like a tool. I'll be your blood mate any day. IM

    me—DarkGothBoy.

    Rayne says . . .

    WhatEVER, dude. I'm looking for a REAL vampire, not some poseur who gets off on blood suckage.

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